If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
