I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
