feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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