I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
