i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just pee around me
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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