I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize