): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
