All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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