Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
