Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize