i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
