You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
please don't ironically join a cult
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