There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
