i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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