My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Randomize
