and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
