so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
