I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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