Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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