Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
