so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
