so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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