Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
