Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
how drunk are you?
Several
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
