Ambien. No doubt about it.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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