Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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