i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize