Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize