Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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