Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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