She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
