also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
