i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
