Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I looked at my own cervix.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
