TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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