dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize