you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
