just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Randomize
