so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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