OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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