she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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