You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
