Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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