Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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