I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
BRING THE BAGELS
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
