dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
