matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
