I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
