Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
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