I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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