Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Blood and glitter go together right?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
