I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
