erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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