I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize