His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
