I cannot find my penis.
Buhtt sex?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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