I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
