She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
