he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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