did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
