we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize