Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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