I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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