just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
