My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
