I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
