My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
